A Tribute To CJ Twomey

CJ,

I have been thinking about this post since Sunday when it was suggested all of us bloggers who know your mom, and eventually you through her posts on her blog should dedicate a post to you today. I immediately agreed to participate because I have come to adore you and your family over the past few years of reading about your exploits, successes and incredible achievements displayed for all the world to enjoy on the Wonderful World of Wieners. Commenting on the blog led to emailing with your mom, which led to long phone calls and eventually constant texting and Facebooking between the two of us. I even got to meet your mother, father and brother last August, a definite highlight of my year. Within three seconds I knew I had met people I would be friends with for life. Your family are the types of people you feel like you have known forever and I would do anything for them. They are and will be lifelong friends of ours.

But with all this thinking I still couldn't come up with anything to say. Because this is so hard to wrap my brain around. I don't want to admit that you are gone. I don't want to acknowledge the gut-wrenching pain my dear friends are going through with your passing. I don't want to accept that you will no longer be around for your mom to write silly posts about or for her to take pictures of where you refuse to smile like a normal person. I don't want to know I will never get to meet you in person and give you that huge hug I've been saving for you, my adoptive little brother.

After only a month reading your mom's blog I was sending you care packages while you were going through training. How your mom talked about you, on the blog and during our personal conversations, made me feel like I knew you too. You became special to me and I followed your journey through life avidly. I was so proud to "know" someone who was dedicated to our country, who was an incredible role model and just an all around great guy. When I finally got on Facebook I remember messaging you and explaining who I was, that I had sent you packages and notes and had cheered you on from Vegas. You wrote back immediately and thanked me so sweetly for thinking of you. And so our online friendship began. While you and I never met in person we did talk frequently on Facebook and had some marathon online chats that helped pass the time while I was unwinding after work at 2AM and you were wrapping up your overnight shifts at 5 AM. You were always so open and willing to talk about most anything, giving me insight to who you really were as a person. And that person was amazing. We discussed dreams we had and fears we held close. You told me about feelings of failure you had at times, worries of not living up to your potential in life. I told you about my own short-comings and doubts about where I was going in life. We had many light and funny moments too, talking about past relationships and silly things we had done when we were both young and crazy (Well, when I was young and crazy since you were still young and sometimes crazy.) You became like a brother to me and we even talked about how me treating you like a son was weird since I was "only 11 and a half years older than me so you can't be like a mom to me because that's just weird. If you were thirteen years older, then maybe you could be more like a parent. You're too young and too cool so you have to be sister-like." That whole statement made me love you even more.

Last Tuesday night I was online really late, unable to sleep like usual. I popped on Facebook to see what was going on and there you were. But I didn't click over and say hi. For some reason I didn't want to bug you since I knew you had a million things to do and the last thing you needed was me distracting you. Now I wonder if life would have worked out differently if I had just called you up in the chat box and asked how you were doing. This is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life, if I could have said something, anything, to make the later events never happen. CJ, did you see me there too? Did you want to click over and talk and couldn't? Did you want to ask for help and didn't know how? I am so sorry that I failed you in that moment. I want to turn back and fix this. I want to make everything better. I want to take away the pain that has been left behind. I want to do something, anything to make this not be reality and it shatters my heart to know that maybe I could have.

As I look ahead I realize how difficult life is going to be from now on. Your family is broken. It's going to be our job to help them find a way to put the pieces back together in a way that is less painful. Because the pain will never go away, not completely. But we can help make is a bit easier to bear by being the best friends we can be. By listening and crying and holding hands and remembering your warm spirit and beautiful light and how your smile could put an entire room of people into your hand. CJ, you are going to have to help too. Watch over your mom and dad and Connor, your grandparents and Danielle. Check in with your friends and let them know you are keeping an eye out for them. Help us be strong through this time because we are going to need your guidance when we feel like nothing will ever be right again. Be our shining guardian angel, like you were in life. Love us because we are certainly loving you so much.

To my personal hero, the young man who makes me want a few kids just like you, I will miss you more than I can say.

Love,
VP :)

If you have not already done so, please click on this link and read the beautiful tribute to CJ on Hallie's blog, written by her two wonderful friends Dayna and Kimmy.

If You Do Nothing Else Today...

Please, please, please visit my friend Hallie's blog and read the beautiful tribute to her beloved son CJ. Hallie, her husband John and their son Connor need all the love and support they can get in this very difficult time. It would mean so much to me, and I know it would to Hallie as well, if you could leave her a comment on the post about her son. Even if you do not know her well or at all. Life is so precious, as this terrible tragedy has demonstrated, so please take a moment to reach out and help someone in need. Thank you.

C.J., You Will Be Forever Missed...

I am still numb, in shock that this is all too real. I have these moments right as I wake up when I think it was all a nightmare and life is good again. And then the hurt comes slamming back into me and I can't stop crying. I can only imagine how unbearable this is for Hallie and her family. This is an unimaginable tragedy, one a family may never fully recover from. But they will find a way to carry on, with all of us to help them along. I hurt so badly for my dear friend and feel helpless. I just want to DO something, so this post, as well as my messages to her and phone calls are my attempts to help.

I will be unable to attend the services for CJ. This is perhaps the most crushing blow. I so desperately wanted to be there for Hallie, John and Connor. I even found affordable tickets with the perfect times to get there on Friday and leave Sunday afternoon. But I am not allowed the time off of work. Which makes me so angry, but I am trying to understand. It's Sweeps so no one is allowed time off and since CJ was not an immediate family member they are not obligated to give me bereavement. I guess I was just hoping they would make an exception. So I will be there in spirit and send my love and prayers along for me. I know there will be so many people there to support Hallie and show their love for CJ. It is sure to be an overwhelming experience.

I will try to post soon. There is so much going on that I need to discuss. But please forgive me if I simply do not have it in me right now.

When The World Stopped

Yesterday, around 6:30 PM, the world as I know it, stopped.

One phone call, a few words, and everything I knew to be true shattered.

Amazing how quickly life can change, how everything can suddenly be different. How the world can stop.

My beloved friend Hallie's beautiful son CJ is gone. The circumstances too heartbreaking to share in a public venue.

I am numb. I am disbelieving. I am helpless.

I want to be with my friend so badly I hurt.

I want to take on her unimaginable pain as my own.

I want to make this nightmare go away.

But I woke up this morning, and this skewed life was still reality.

I do not have the words, the ability to know how to deal with this.

I have begun to pray again. Praying to make sense of this loss. Praying to find the strength to help my friend through this. Praying to try and find a way to live with the pain. Please pray with me for this family trying to deal with such a tragedy. Of attempting to live a life without their precious son and brother. Pray for CJ and that he becomes the brightest star and most glorious guardian angel to us all. But especially so he can now watch over his loved ones and be with them always.

Happy Day

Just a quick note to wish my good friend Jessica a very Happy Birthday today! She turns 29...again. May you have a very happy and fabulous birthday, wish I was there to help you celebrate. But you know, work, no money and trying to make a playmate for Sara takes up a lot of my time.

Love you sweetie!

*I figured this picture is more appropriate (plus the obvious Twilight reference) than the one I wanted to post, Jess is a mom now after all.

The Big Meet

Today is my good friend Hallie's 40th 30th birthday. In another life she, her wonderful husband John, Charming and I were going to take a special birthday trip together this March. But a lot of things happened, like losing loved ones and sending sons off to war, that kept us from being able to take that trip this year and for that I am very sad. However, this does not mean that we will never take this trip, just not for her 40th birthday. I do hope we can manage to go before my 40th. I mean my 35th.

I wanted to do something special for Hallie since I love her dearly and need to make her special day even more special. Charming and I called her this morning and had a lovely chat, wishing her happy birthday and making her laugh with my stories about scheduled sex (yes, it is written on our calender which days we need to do it) but it did not seem like enough. I needed another gesture since we are poor and a trip to the Prada store isn't in my near future anytime soon.

Then I remembered I never finished my posts about our trip to Massachusetts last August. Writing my Baby Boy [Last Name] post reminded me that I completely forgot to complete those entries. So I never wrote about meeting Hallie and John. And immediately I felt like I should be flogged for neglecting to recapture the pure joy of that meeting. I felt like a horrible friend, like I didn't care about meeting them and it was just any other day on our vacation. but the thing is, it wasn't just any other day. It was probably the best day out of that entire year. And now I remember why it took me so long to write about it. Because I wanted that post to be perfect. To perfectly reiterate how incredible it was to meet Hallie and John and how amazing it was to click so well with them. And how sad I was when we had to leave and know that we would soon be 3000 miles away from two people who could quite possibly be the perfect couple for us to do fun things with. Hallie and John just GET us, which is really hard to find. So I didn't write the post because I never thought I could write it in a way that would convey how much meeting Hallie and John changed our lives. I mean, we talked about MOVING BACK TO THE SNOW, just to be closer to them. Not in a stalker way but in a wow-you-are-really-great-friends-and-we-now -live-too-far-away-to-even-see-you-more-than-once-a-year-way.

But I am getting ahead of myself. I want to do this right. And make it full of compliments about Hallie because this is, after all, her birthday post. So she deserves to be adored and put on a pedestal.

MEETING HALLIE & JOHN

My parents live about three hours from Hallie and John. So on the Saturday of our trip we made the trek from Massachusetts up to Maine. Hallie is so incredibly wonderful she made sure we brought my parents with us because she had talked on the phone with my mom once (I held my cell phone with Hallie on it up to my land line phone with my mom on it who had called while I was talking to Hallie. They had a lovely conversation) and wanted to meet them too. So the four of us, myself, my mother & father and Charming, got up at the butt crack of dawn (7AM) in order to arrive in Maine with as much time as possible to spend with Hallie and John. The entire way I was sending Hallie progress texts. "We just left our driveway." "We are heading North." "We just left Massachusetts!" And Hallie would respond with different versions of "Hurry up and get your butts up here NOW!"

When we pulled up in front of their house I had a sudden case of nerves. What if she didn't like me? What if we found out we did better on the phone or through texts and this face to face thing wasn't going to work? I didn't have long to stew in my pit of self-pity though because this gorgeous dark haired woman came bounding down her front stairs and was jumping up and down on the sidewalk then practically dragging me out of the car to envelop me in a huge hug. When she was through with me she did the same to Charming and each of my parents and I knew instantly that everything was going to be okay.

We met John who was a bit reserved but welcoming and oh so handsome. I quickly determined he was a taller version of Charming, one who sits back and decides in time if he can relax around you. And John did warm up to us. He is so kind and warm and clearly adores his wife, which for me is always the best sign of a good man. Almost at once it was as if Hallie and I had been friends forever and this was simply our regular Saturday meet up with our hubbys. It was effortless and fun and just felt so right. A lot of that ease is due to Hallie herself. She is just so easy to be around. She's funny and sweet and just the right enough of quirkiness to offset my craziness.

We meshed well.

First on the agenda was the getting to know you part. We did some chit chat, discussed family members, our trip, things we had done on vacation so far. Enough talk to get used to each other. We got the tour of the house, which is beautiful and exactly where I would feel comfortable living. I always like to imagine myself in someone's house to see if we would be able to live there as a gauge of how compatible we would be. I used to do it with boyfriends but its a test that works well with couple friends too. Hallie and John's house is the perfect family house, just the right amount of comfort and coolness. After the tour we moved on to drinks. Because what is better in a getting-to-know-you situation then alcohol. Help relax everyone. And daiquiris are oh so yummy. Especially with penis straws. Yes, Hallie gave me a penis straw and I think I fell in love with her a little bit more.

Next we had some healthy competition with some rousing games of Wii Sports Resort. Hallie proceeded to whip my butt in jousting but I got her back in archery. John and Charming had an exciting battle of canoeing prowess and soon none of us could raise our arms too well any more. I do believe the Wii is the deciding factor in relationships. There are those who love to play and those who just don't get it. I am so glad Hallie and John are ones who like to play because it is so much fun.

Then it was off to dinner which was delicious and in a totally cool restaurant in a converted old warehouse. We happened to be in town (let me mention here that I love the town Hallie and John live in. It is the idyllic New England town with gorgeous scenery, rolling hills and this incredible river that runs through the center of town with waterfalls and gorgeous banks. I am a sucker for towns like that. They remind me of a Norman Rockwell painting) for their annual balloon festival. As soon as I heard that, and I made sure Hallie wasn't planning on flashing any balloonists this year because I didn't want to cramp her style by insisting we go over to see the candlelight ride, we headed over to the square to see all the balloons. Unfortunately there was a threat of thunderstorms so none of them got off the ground...until we had already left and were back at Hallie and John's house. But by then it was dark and we had a long drive back to Massachusetts. I didn't want to leave, we were having so much fun. But all good things must come to an end. We said our goodbyes, which took about an hour longer than expected since no one really wanted to leave. We made promises to see each other again, hopefully Hallie and John coming to see us in Vegas, and we headed out. The whole ride home Hallie and I continued to text back and forth, exclaiming about how much fun we had, how incredible we thought each other were and how great it was that we got along so well. But her last text to me summed up the experience meeting her so well I saved it in my phone:

"I can't believe how lucky I feel to have found you! :)"

I feel the exact same way, Hallie. And now you are stuck with me in your life. Get used to it.

Happy Birthday my friend.

Is It Just Me Or...Do I Like To Do Things For My Friends

My good friend Hallie has this thing she does on her blog every Wednesday called "Is It Just Me Or..." where she lists the crazy things that are in her head that may sound insane but make total sense when you think about them. Then she challenged her readers to participate with their own odd things the we all think of, creating a huge Internet sensation where we all compare how incredibly crazy we all are, but we love each other any way.

Since I have been somewhat immobile and incredibly bored these past few days I decided to give this thing a shot. Forgive me if it is completely idiotic since I am still in some pain and hopped up on Ibuprofen. Today I am seeing my doctor for a regular check up and will have him give me a once over in regards to my little tumble on Sunday night. Because my head shouldn't hurt this much after three days. Right?

Here's the link to Hallie's Week 3 of her "Is It Just Me Or..." post. And now I shall attempt to be witty amongst the fog that surrounds my aching head.

Is it just me or...do shows like "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" feel like more sophisticated Jerry Springer shows? You wonder how stupid some people are and how someone could actually pop out a kid and have no idea they were pregnant, but you can't help but watch and marvel at their stupidity. I have watched a lot of these shows in the past few days when I couldn't reach the remote to change the channel and have concluded people love to delude themselves into a false sense of normalcy and pretend they weren't just lying to themselves all along.

Is it just me or...should it be required for your spouse or best friend to be able to take off of work when you are sick or injured yourself so that they can keep you company. It really sucks being alone and in pain and having no one to complain to. The cats don't care if I moan and groan so what is the point?

Is it just me or...should Advil have a less appetizing outer covering. Those shiny brown-orange pills are so yummy I could pop them like candy if my husband didn't hide them from me for fear of an accidental overdose. I also used to love to chug Dynatapp, that was some grape-flavored awesomeness.

Is it just me or...should all household chores automatically be done when we don't feel well? because who wants to worry about laundry and dishes when you can't stand upright or think straight through a throbbing headache. A house should just know when it's occupants don't feel well and clean itself.

Is it just me or...can you get to the point where you stink so much you start to smell good to yourself? Like you get adapted to your funk. After not showering for two days I was a bit ripe, but come day three and I am catching a whiff of something sweet every now and then. I believe that if I keep this up I will be the best smelling person ever. Except my husband won't come near me until I shower. His silly rules.

Is it just me or...does it seem we hit November 1st and BAM! We are inundated with Christmas commercials. There are some spattered here and there before Halloween but once October is over every single commercial has a Christmas overtone. In the last commercial break alone I saw a KMart, Kay's, Old Navy and Wal-Mart Christmas themed commercials. Plus one for NuvaRing, which I am sure could have a Christmas spin put on it if one got creative. Don't want another one for the holidays? Use NuvaRing!

Is it just me or...should groceries be delivered to your front door. Since I have been home and unable to go out for the last few days there have been several things I have wanted but have been unable to get. How cool if I could call up a store and have them deliver me pretzel nuggets, nacho chips, cheese and apple pie (all things I have been craving) And have it here instantly, not have to wait until my husband fetches things for me after I plead with him to stop on his way home from work at 2AM.

Is it just me or...was this list kinda fun? I think I may need to do it again next week. If I remember. Thanks Hallie!

Attempting To Be Deep With Proust

In keeping with talking about Lynda on this blog, she recently posted her answers to a Proust Questionnaire that had appeared in Vanity Fair. Apparently Vanity Fair has devoted the back page of each issue to the Proust Questionnaire, in which a noteworthy person answers a series of personal questions. The questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust (1871–1922), the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. You can click on the link above and read the answers given by a series of celebrities featured. Since VF will be spouting a cover with Robert Pattinson this month I decided to take a crack at their questions too. Because all of my decisions are based around the involvement of hot young men. Yes, I have my priorities straight. Also, I am curious to see my true nature since I myself do not know what it is. I will try to be as honest as possible.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Never having to worry about money issues again.

What is your greatest fear?
All that I love being taken away from me.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My lack of motivation to change what I hate about myself.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ignorance and rudeness.

On what occasion do you lie?
I am ashamed to say I sometimes lie to make other people feel better about themselves, myself included.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Massages.

What is your current state of mind?
Tired.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Understanding.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Understanding.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Really? Wow! and Not a problem.

When and where were you happiest?
As cliche as it sounds, our wedding day. It just felt perfect and so right and I was so blissfully happy with my new life ahead with my husband.

Who are your favorite writers?
I love a lot of bloggers but as for professional writers I would have to say Stephenie Meyer, MaryJanice Davidson, Charlaine Harris, Jodi Picoult and old Stephen King (I say old because I can't seem to get into his new stuff)

Which talent would you most like to have?
A voice amazing enough to be on Broadway.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
That I lived closer to them.

If you died and came back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Absolutely a cat. My cats especially have the perfect life.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
The vast expanse of it.

Where would you like to live?
The suburbs of London, England.

What is your most treasured possession?
Corny again, but the love of my husband.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Cruelty.

What do you most value in your friends?
All of the things that make them special to me. For each one it is something unique.

What are your favorite names?
I like slightly more non-traditional names like Calliope. But I am not listing my favorites because our children are going to be named that and I don't want to give anything away.

What is it that you most dislike?
Stupid, insolent people who bring nothing good into someone's life,

What is your greatest regret?
That I never travelled across Europe or did a semester overseas while I was younger.

How would you like to die?
Safe and quiet in my bed.

What is your motto?
When God closes one door he always opens another, even though sometimes it's Hell in the hallway.

Let's keep this party going and have everyone else answer these questions too! Other Proust Questionnaire participants:

Finn (originator)
Blogography
Avitable
LeSombre
Sybil
Lynda
Your name here

The Blogger Bad Influence

Man, do I suck.

I still have to finish my vacation posts from our Massachusetts trip that happened two and a half months ago. Plus my birthday post that happened over two weeks ago. And I forgot to congratulate my parents on another year of wedded bliss this past Wednesday.

I have disappointed in so many ways.

So in honor of my unfailing ability at procrastination, I shall write about Lynda's visit that happened only three days ago. Because at least I can try to be somewhat current and actually talk about something that happened within the span of my immediate memory.

Settle in folks, this may be a long one.

As the title states, I am a Bad Influence. Sweet, innocent Lynda came to Vegas to visit me and what did I do? I made her drink alcohol, look at naughty sex toys and tried to force her into a strip club. Not to mention getting her out of her pants and waking her up both mornings with Sex on Fire.

The above paragraph was for the benefit of Mrs. K, who may or may not find this post through Lynda's blog and I am doing my friendly duty of assuring this lovely woman that her daughter in no means WANTED to do any of those things. I forced her, kicking and screaming to degrade her moral character and entertain some less than virtuous activities.

I do live in Sin City after all. I play my part well.

But between you and me, Lynda was the one who set the parameters. I mean, I just wanted her to come to Vegas so she could go to a silly movie with me. SHE was the one who demanded a trip to the sex shop. SHE was the one who declared she needed a daiquiri...or two. SHE was the one who wanted to see ding-a-lings on stage.

I just had the tools to make these desires come true. Because I am a good friend and I always give my friends what they want I followed through and gave Lynda a trip she won't soon forget.

And we also can't forget Photo Pixie who reveled in our debauchery as much as a two-dimensional representation of a good friend can revel. Photo Pixie started early, drinking while on the way to the airport to pick up Lynda. In fact Photo Pixie didn't stop drinking the entire visit. Which is probably why she had so much fun!

First on the agenda was seeing the movie Paranormal Activity. I had been waiting for the opportunity to see this flick with someone for quite some time. I learned my lesson years ago to never go see a movie such as this alone after viewing The Blair Witch Project by myself left me sleepless for three weeks. And deathly afraid of nature. And knit hats. Lynda and I joked about her coming all the way to Vegas just to see a movie with me, but in a sense that is true. Because I probably wouldn't have gotten to see it without her visit since Charming refused to go (unsteady hand cameras make him nauseous.) However, the movie, which sadly did not live up to its terrifying expectations (due to the incredibly annoying people behind us talking through the whole thing. Something I would have remedied had I not questioned Lynda's view of me after going postal on complete strangers and hucking popcorn in their gaping maws) was a mere low light on the fun-o-meter to come.

Because after dinner at Hooters (What? It was right next to the theatre and their food is actually quite good. Don't judge us.) we were heading to the Love Boutique.

I am a pretty open person. I love experiencing new things and am not squeamish about situations that involve questionable content. Things like strip clubs, adult toy stores and porn do not bother me. Do I want to immerse myself in them all the time? No. Can these things be seedy and tasteless? Yes. But when done in a classy manner, adult entertainment can be quite fun. It is not something I wish to do with my parents (I even question my mother actually reading this) but going with a friend to giggle over products or gawk at dancers can be a blast if done with the right person.

Luckily for me, Lynda is so my kind of person.

We spent a few hours within the Love Boutique. When Lynda asked me about going to such a store, I immediately thought of this place. I had gone there with Charming on a curious afternoon when we were feeling daring and found it to be a very nice establishment. But I can tell you going to a sex store with your husband and going with a good friend are two totally different experiences. Lynda and I could swap stories, compare products and discuss the pros and cons of different items we found. Charming acted like any other guy and just waited for me to pick up something he would want to talk me into buying in order to experiment with at home. With Lynda, there was no pressure. We laughed over the ridiculous items, thoughtfully contemplated some that seemed interesting and took our turns swinging around the stripper pole for sale (alas, no pictures allowed inside the store around merchandise.) We had way too much fun, found the Marge Simpson issue of Playboy I had to buy (it is going to become a collector's item, just you wait) and even asked questions to the staff I never thought I would pose and had them give us a tour of the arcade and theatres in the back (you can actually pay to watch 4 adult movies at one time on flat screens!) I felt comfortable with Lynda. Comfortable enough to actually blow a good chunk on my birthday money (money that Lynda had actually given me herself) on something that caught my eye the minute I spotted this item on the shelf.

But I'm not going to tell you what it was. Because I am not quite THAT comfortable.

We had such a good time I may have to add the Love Boutique to our repertoire of sights to see in Vegas when people come in to town. For those that would appreciate it, of course. Not everyone would enjoy an animatronic flasher that shows you his rubber willy when you walk in the door.

After all that walking around the sex store, our feetsies were very tired. So we headed to my favorite hole-in-the-wall reflexology place I have talked about on here before (More b-day money gone, thanks Mom!) Lynda was skeptical, being of the ticklish foot kind, but I convinced her she would love the experience. I was right, of course, she loved it. Didn't even blink an eye at having to shed our jeans so the ladies could access our feet and calves easier as we laid in bliss with towels covering our lower halves. I have discovered throughout my life that a true friend will get half naked with you and not think it is weird. It is amazing how much this comes up in life.

The next day, we teamed up with Charming for more fun activities. First up was the obligatory motorcycle ride. Everyone who comes to visit has to ride on the back of Charming's motorcycle and Lynda was more than happy to indulge in this task. After a quick crash course (no pun intended) on how to be one with the bike, Charming roared off with Lynda clutching him from behind. Something she later said she wasn't sure about, her grabbing on to another woman's husband. I assured her I didn't mind. I know how clutchable Charming can be!

Lynda mentioned wanting to check out the outlet mall so we headed there to get our shop on.

We wandered around, window shopping, but not buying much (I needed some more perfume. Bye-bye more birthday money!) The ladies at Godiva gave us free candy in exchange for a picture with Photo Pixie. Everyone loved her!

Then we really began our evening downtown on Fremont Street. The light shows every hour are amazing and the whole vibe downtown is completely different than what you would think of as Vegas. Which is why Charming and I prefer it so much more than the congested, over-priced Strip.

Lynda wanted a daiquiri so we set off on a quest to find her one. Little did we know that Lynda + 151 is an interesting combination. Heck, Vegas Princess + 151 is a good time. Needless to say we were all having a grand ole time. We visited the Golden Nugget Shark Tank pool.

Then we had to see the actual golden nugget that gives the Golden Nugget its name.

After that, we wandered outside where there was a live band with a completely adorable lead singer (which I dutifully snapped several pictures of. For Lynda, of course), tons of people watching opportunities, different events/acts on the street like spray paint artists and saxophone players, and always casinos.

Soon Lynda was dancing in the street, playing huge slot machines (and winning!) and watching the light shows in awe. Plus Photo Holly was raking in the beads from showing her...uhm, from being so sweet. I hated to drag them away from all the fun.

But naked men were in our future.

I had managed to find the one strip club in the city (that wasn't a total dive) that catered to women. They are harder to find than you may think. Naked women? Those clubs are a dime a dozen. I guess some people would say we have the Chippendale's, Thunder from Down Under shows to satisfy us. But I say nay. Those are not enough! Since Lynda and I had gone to Chippendale's the last time she visited, we both decided this trip deserved a little upgrade. So off to Olympic Gardens we went. However, a little bit of misunderstanding regarding the lack of a cover charge but 2 drink minimum required (at ten bucks a pop) caused us to stop in our tracks. Lack of fundage made us revisit this little escapade next time. And I will be holding Lynda to that promise because I admit, I was a little let down about missing out on dancing willies.

After we had rounded up Charming (who for some weird reason, did not wish to journey to the Gardens with us) we headed home. For bed. Yeah, right. We got some more of our drink on (Charming made Lynda her very first very DIRTY martini which she actually enjoyed) and decided some Rock Band was in order.

I don't know if it was the lack of inhibition thanks to the alcohol coursing through her veins or the fact that she is such a great sport, but Lynda tackled guitar, drums and singing with gusto and was pretty good. I can't even get Charming to pick up the mic when he's buzzed, so kudos to Lynda. Extra kudos because Lynda is a total rock chick in disguise and knows all the words to Disturbed. Who would have thought! Next thing we knew it was 3 AM, AGAIN (the night before we had stayed up watching random things on TV and laughing) and sleep was definitely in order after all the fun had tuckered us out.

Due to Lynda's early afternoon flight we did not do much the next day other than take a walk up the bike trail to show her the kick ass view from behind our house. I still never tire of the amazing vista we have to look at every day.

Lynda tired to cozy up to the cats again, with some success. I think Portia only hissed at her when she shoved her camera in her face (but hey I got some really cool pictures of my babies) to take a video of her hissing, so it all worked out. And then it was time to send Lynda back to sunny CA. It was a short but memorable visit, one I wish could have been longer but was so packed full of fun it felt a lot longer than it was.

And after this very long post and feeling all warm and fuzzy about Lynda and how amazing and fabulous she is and how happy I was we had such a fun time, I suddenly am more comfortable opening up about my Love Boutique purchase. After all, it cements my place as probably the hugest fan out there. Even Lynda said I would have been a fool to not buy this item because she knew it was so ME.

I, Vegas Princess, bought the XXX rated version of Twilight. A Twilight porno. And Lynda loved the fact her birthday money to me went towards this purchase. It was right then that I knew she and I would be great friends for a very long time. She did send me the money so I could go see the new Twilight movie. I just decided a different Twilight movie was necessary.

And even though my Mom is reading this (hi Mom!) I am glad I bought it and shared that experience with all of you.

But I just don't think I am quite comfortable enough to open it, yet.

Photo Pixie'll drink to that.




VEGAS! Sights: Iron Man
VEGAS! Sounds: "Happy" - Leona Lewis
VEGAS! Soliloquies: Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult

Blogger Weekend

I am going to post about my birthday AND finish my vacation posts (including that all important one I know one specific person is waiting to read about), but first I have to stop and take a time out to entertain someone very special.

Lynda is coming to visit again!

Although this time it is a true visit because she is staying with us. We did our trial "is she crazy or sane enough to invite into our home" test the last time we met her and since she passed with flying colors decided she deserved to lodge at Casa de Princess for this trip. I am 90% excited and 10% scared. 10% scared because I can be a bit maniacal about things in our house. It can never be too clean or too organized or too perfect for guests. This tends to make me stress out before anyone arrives and I make Charming live in a model home bubble until then. I don't like to show this side to people who don't know me too well (my family and close friends know this about me, my mother especially, don't you Mom?) and Lynda will be the very first blogger I only met once welcomed into our home. So I am a bit freaked that I may freak her out. I am sure she will fill you all in on my annoying idiosyncrasies and whatnots.

We also have another guest but I am not as nervous about this one since she appears to be well liquored and not caring what my house looks like, or the fact I am sitting typing this in ratty old pajamas. Pixie wanted to come for a visit too but alas, money and the distance of 2000 miles got in the way. So we did the next best thing. We have Photo Pixie to bring with us everywhere so she can have fun on this visit too. Our own version of Flat Stanley but with alcohol! And Portia just loves her.

Doesn't she look relaxed and ready to party?

So stayed tuned for the adventures of Vegas Princess, Lynda and Photo Pixie. We intend to set Vegas on fire! Just not too close to us or Photo Pixie may go up in flames and that would totally ruin the trip.



VEGAS! Sights: How I Met You Mother
VEGAS! Sounds: "Sex on Fire" - Kings of Leon
VEGAS! Soliloquies: My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

Vacation Post #2: Flurry Of Activity

The second day back in New England saw our vacation get kicked into high gear. We had a whole day in Boston planned, starting with lunch at Faneuil Hall, a trip to the New England Aquarium, dinner at Ye Ole' Oyster House in the North End then Jersey Boys and meeting up with blogger friends Evey and Chris for drinks after the show.

Even I wondered if we would fit it all in one day.

I love Boston. I love the feel of the city and the history attached to everything throughout the heart of it all. There is always so much to see and do in Boston. However, some things were more fun when I was younger. Something I quickly found out about a half hour into our visit to the aquarium. The aquarium experience I remember from my youth was much more fun, more awe-inspiring and interesting. This trip, while okay, left me thinking there should have been more to see. For some reason I had remembered more aquatic animals such as dolphins etc. But there were no dolphins to be found. Still, the seals and sea lions were fun to watch and I did enjoy seeing some of the more unique fish, like the one that crawled on the sand floor rather than swim. But overall my impressions were it was a lot more smelly and a lot louder than I remember. Some experiences made me reconsider the children issue.

Ye Ole' Oyster House never fails to disappoint. After a day of walking all over a fishy paradise the best reward for not collapsing in a pile of wounded feet is fresh clam chowder. And lobster. And steamers. And Ye Ole' Oyster House is the best place for all of that. As the oldest restaurant in all of the country, the quaintness of the centuries old building seeps into your soul and makes you feel like you have walked into a time gone by. Despite the modern hostess computers and Visa being accepted. It is my favorite place in Boston to eat seafood. So we overindulged on the scrumptious delights and I was in heaven. Alas, this would be the one and only time we got to eat fresh seafood. Something I utterly regret.

When we rolled out of the restaurant we headed to the theatre district to see a performance of Jersey Boys. This show was amazing! I was never a huge fan of the music of Frankie Valli and The Seasons but I was surprised to find out how many songs I didn't know they did! And the performers were spot on and sounded great. We were bouncing in our seats and dancing in the aisles at the end. If you have the chance to see this show I highly recommend it!

After the show marked a very important moment in my blogging life. The time I got to meet yet another blogger IRL. I had been batting a thousand with my experiences thus far when meeting other people I only knew through my computer. So I had a feeling meeting Evey and Chris would be another fabulous experience. Little did I know how incredible the time we spent together would be! I knew immediately that were we ever to move back to the Boston area we would be seeing these two amazing people frequently. Chris and Evey were funny, warm and just plain interesting. Although we only had a short amount of time together it was a really great meet-up, as well as enlightening in the beer department since both my father and Evey experimented with several different shots of brews available at the pub we visited. I hope we get a chance to see them again soon.

After Wednesday's very long day choke full of fun and adventure we took it easy on Thursday. I programmed my Mom's iPod, we did a little shopping and we got pizza and subs from my favorite pizza place in my hometown. Unfortunately they recently changed owners and it now sucks. But that's change.

On Friday I awoke early, warm with the knowledge I would be meeting the darling baby girl of one of my closest friends. My first friend to have a baby, which makes her extra special. J looked beautiful, the picture of blushing motherhood. And little S was precious. I loved holding her and she was one of the best babies I have ever seen. All cute little coos and grunts and sleeping like an angel. She only fussed when she got hungry, which is completely understandable. For a one month old she was fabulous! And made my baby juices start flowing again BIG TIME!! I loved seeing my friend be a mom. She is such a natural and so wonderful. Makes me believe I may have a chance of not screwing up our own little munchkins life one day.

We reluctantly left J and S to sit around and be cute with one another (seriously, it was so heart-warming to see them together, that natural mother daughter bond) and headed to Charming's friend's house where we used to live. After catching up and a rock hard jam session on Rock Band we headed home for an early night, sated from much friendliness all day.

Besides, we had a big day ahead of us on Saturday. A day that would go down in infamy as the best day on a vacation ever...

Adjusting

Adjusting.

That is the title of this post and that is all I have been doing since August 28th.

Life after vacation has been a whirlwind. Having to deal with vacation-brain is bad enough but I never expected a shift change to have such an impact on me. Plus, all of the added work has me completely worn out and exhausted at the end of the day.

I am so upset with myself, having reverted back to all of my old habits because I find comfort in them in stressful times. Late eating, eating crap, not exercising, not even showering every day. Ironically I yearn to feel like I did when I worked out and took care of myself. I want to get back on track but that motivation was left somewhere between Massachusetts and Vegas on the flight home. I am not sleeping well. I feel like crap and I am sinking into a depression that scares me.

I need to get out of this funk and quick.

I still want to tell you about our vacation and how incredible and so needed it was. But it makes me sad t think about it because everything is just in such a turmoil now I can't conjure up how happy I felt for those ten gloriously stress-free days. These past two weeks have darkened that experience.

Plus, I have so many other things on my mind than sharing our trip back to my hometown. Things I think I just need to dump here and get off my chest.

1. Today I have never wanted to be in two places as once as I did while cheering on my friends Lynda and Hallie. Or on two separate sides of the continent. Lynda was participating in Relay For Life in San Francisco and Hallie was giving a speech about organ donation in Massachusetts. I so badly wanted to be there for both of them and support them. Hopefully them knowing I was thinking of both of them all day was enough.

2. My good blogger buddy Jodi hung up her blog. This had made me extremely sad because I have read Jodi from the beginning of my blogging career and she helped me out immensely by making my blog template. I will miss her terribly but understand her reasoning for giving up the blogging world.

3. Jodi's retirement has made me think it may be time for me to call this blog thing quites too. (Again, I know) Maybe it is just because I have been super busy and stressed to the max, but blogging has fallen to the bottom of my priorities. Usually I am frothing at the mouth to see what is going on in Blogland and to write up a new post, but not lately. And no one seems to come by as much either. So perhaps it is time...

4. I miss my family so much. This last visit to see them really made me feel the miles apart.

5. I miss my husband. Not having two days off with him has just thrown everything off. This one is going to take a long time to get used to.

6. I miss my East Coast friends. I don't see them enough and it greatly saddens me.

7. I miss living in Massachusetts where everything feels right. I even miss living in Ohio. And I am not sure how to explain this to Charming, but I think I am done with Vegas.

8. Charming is now making half of what he was making a year ago. Things are so tight money wise right now it is scary. And this Postsecret card made me stop and do some heavy thinking. Perhaps it is time to leave Vegas...

9. Our money woes and all my added stress form work has made me reconsider the baby thing. Not that I am having any luck getting knocked up anyway.

10. I am excited for Fall TV but am amazed that almost every show I want to watch this season is on Thursday nights. I am not sure if my recording devices can handle it all.

11. Speaking of Fall TV...the season premiere of Glee filled me with glee. I am gleeking out all the time over that show. It is just so smart and funny and musical. All of my favorite things. Vampire Diaries and Supernatural were pretty good too. I love this time of year.

12. I have not been reading as much lately. In fact I am woefully behind on the amount of books I read last year. I had been hoping to read more than the 130+ books I read last year but it does not seem like I will reach that goal unless I can lock myself in a room until December 31st and read non-stop. There is just no time to read for pleasure any more. And a lot of the time I used to use at work to read is filled doing..well, work. Sucks.

13. I have never gotten a flu shot in my life but all of this talk about the H1N1 virus and how Nevada is sure to get hit with it hard this flu season is starting to freak me out a bit. Maybe I should consider getting one. but I don't want to get sick BECAUSE of the show, something I know sometimes happens. Any one have any experience with flue shots and can give me some advice here?

14. I don't have a 14th item to talk about but leaving the list at 13 made me feel unlucky.



VEGAS! Sights: Adventureland
VEGAS! Sounds: "Take A Bow" - Rachel Berry on Glee
VEGAS! Soliloquies: A Date With The Other Side by Erin McCarthy

Happy Hallie Day

Anytime anyone asks me to guest blog for them, I get all warm and fuzzy. Cuz it’s quite the honor to be asked to fill in for someone that you think writes a kick ass blog. So when Vegas Princess tossed the guest blogger gauntlet my way, I accepted without hesitation. Cuz VP is good people. Cuz VP and Mr. VP are the kind of people who I could totally hang out with on a regular basis. Cuz VP and Mr. VP are the friends that could (and would) make my life complete.

Sounds good, right? Did you buy into all that? Are you too now feeling all warm and fuzzy inside?

Good….cuz now I can tell you the truth.

I agreed to guest blog cuz I CRAVE POWER!!!! (Insert an evil sounding BWAHAHAHAHAHAH here!)

Yes, I adore the VP’s. And yes, I am thrilled to guest blog.

But getting to take over and say whatever the hell happens to be running around this wiener woman’s head is REALLY what gets my rocks off. What floats my boat. What rings my bell. What tickles my fancy. (and boy, do I like my fancy tickled!) ;)

Yep, I like power. And control. And free reign to do as I please. Which VP said I could do. And if she didn’t? Tough dots….she ain’t here and she CAN’T STOP ME!! (Insert second evil sounding BWAHAHAHAHAH here!)

So today, since I rule this blogging roost, I’ve decided to declare it HALLIE DAY. Or WIENER WOMAN DAY. Or HALLIE IS THE BEE’S KNEES DAY. (Not sure I like that last one since I’m not particularly fond of bees. Nor am I convinced they have knees. But bees are better than spiders. Which probably have eight knees. Which freaks me the EFF out. But I digress.)

And seeing as it’s MY DAY here in VP LAND, I’m setting some ground rules. Follow them or you will be skinned and cooked over an open spit. (With honey mustard. In your private parts) Or flogged at high noon. (Not actually sure what flogging is but I assume it has something to do with KY Jelly and public humiliation.) Or staple gunned to a large rhinoceros. (Assume you will be attached to a less than pleasant part of the aforementioned rhino.)

Get the picture? Live by my rules or suffer the consequences.

Capeesh?

And for Pete’s Sake, (Not sure who Pete is but I wouldn’t piss him off, if I were you…heard he’s a mean SOB) don’t complain about ANY OF THEM.

There’s only five**. And they are TOTALLY reasonable. :)


*NO GAS SHALL BE PASSED ON MY DAY. Anywhere. At anytime. Flatulence is entirely off limits. IF you so much as “pass a peep” (not the marshmallow kind, but the small air fluff kind) I will seek swift and intense retribution. You WILL keep your fecal particle filled ass air in your ass and NOT my nose.

*NO POOPING SHALL OCCUR EVER. Well, if by ever I mean ON.MY.DAY. Nope, no pooping. AT ALL. No small poop, no big poop, no flat poop, no runny poop, no floaty poop and no poop islands. (see Mr. Wiener Woman if you need poop island clarification.) Basically, NO POOP, NO HOW. Pee if you must but make it quick. And for GOD SAKE…..pee quietly!!!

*KILL SPIDERS NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL. If a spider happens into your area ON MY DAY, you MUST kill it. And I do mean kill it. As in squish the mother effing beejesus out of it. The only good spider is a smeared to the bottom or YOUR shoe spider. (I say YOUR shoe cuz to say MY shoe infers that I would get anywhere NEAR the 8-legged harbingers of doom. And that ain’t happenin.”)

*HOSTESS SNOBALLS WILL BE CONSUMED IN MASS QUANTITY. In a pinch, you may substitute a Hostess Cupcake or Hostess Suzy Q. But if I see even ONE Little Debbie or Drake’s Cakes product, said pastry product will be shoved up your non farting, non pooping tushie.

*HANDBAGS ARE MANDATORY…FOR ALL. But only if they are PRADA or COACH. Nothing else is acceptable. NO EXCEPTIONS. And yes, men are required to carry them as well. Cuz nothing says, “I LOVE YOU HALLIE” like a man walking towards me with a PRADA bag in his hand….for me!!! Tricked you, didn’t I? Yep, men are required to BUY ME A PRADA bag…without bitching. Cuz I’m worth it. Trust me!! :)

Easy, peasey, right?

Glad you agree.

I just KNOW we’re going to get along fabulously!!

HAPPY HALLIE DAY to all!!

**Although not actually a rule, bowing and kissing my “fresh as a daisy cuz I never poop or fart” ass is HIGHLY ENCOURAGED!! :)



Hallie is the author of Wonderful World of Wieners and prides herself on grossing out all of her readers each and every week with her Morbid Monday posts. She is one of my bestest blogger friends and I am pleased to announce we finally met in person for the first time! And she still loved me! Hallie lives in the weather-tastic state of Maine with her incredibly hot husband John, her two sweet sons CJ and Connor and two adorable wiener dogs who just love to make mischief. She is also an amazing woman who recently organized a huge raffle to benefit organ donation and raised over $5,500 dollars for the cause!

Lynda's Guide To Penis In Vegas

Hello! This is Lynda from Crazy, Nerdy, Beautiful writing a post for Vegas Princess. You all may be wondering where she has gone. I'm afraid the answer isn't so exciting. She decided to take a blogcation so you are stuck with me for today. And yes, blogcation means "too lazy to post to your own blog", in case you were wondering. But she is the princess, so what can I say?

When Vegas Princess asked me to guest post for her, I had to say yes. I mean, I went out to visit her back in April, and when my family saw our pictures together, they all said that we looked alike. So, she is practically my sister. And you can't say no to your sister. Wait a second...does that mean I'm a princess too? Oh, sorry, I got a little off track. Back to the subject at hand.

There was a post I was planning to do on my blog, but since I am back at Vegas virtually, it seems more appropriate to do it here. I mean, you go to Vegas, and there are men flipping this little cards at you, especially if you are male. And women dancing on tables (I have video!), and strip clubs, and signs like the one below, and so forth.



Vegas is full of all kinds of debauchery aimed at the red-blooded American male. But I'm female. And I like some debauchery too. And I really like penises. So, here you have it. Lynda's Guide to Penis in Vegas.

The first place you can go to, and possibly see penis is The Las Vegas Welcome sign. Now, if you are a hard core penis seeker, you may find penis to be a little elusive here. But I saw some. And I took pictures.



Do you see it there on the Scottish guy ram rodding the guy in black? The best part of that penis was when he took off part of the costume and asked the photographer, "Shall we get a picture with my head?" That just made me laugh. But maybe that's just because I have a warped sense of humor.

The next place I saw penis was a Caesars Penis Palace, as my aunt and I were walking. I just happened to find out my aunt was in Vegas the same time I was, and she pointed it out to me. Then she told me to grab at it. So I did.



Later I took a close-up, which I was told I could delete, but why would I want to? I'm a penis hunter, remember?



The next place I looked, I didn't really see penis, but I found this book. I use to have a book like this for thumb wrestling. It left marks. I can't imagine what it would do to a guy's penis. I recommend you use with caution if you try it.



Well, my trip was only 4 days long, so my hunt for penis was soon to come to an end. Vegas Princess and I saw a Chippendales show, where they hinted that the guys all had a penis. But sadly, we never got to see the goods.

So, I went back to Caesars. And there was a lot of penis there, I found. There was:

The Statue of David, supposedly the most perfect man:


These guys:



This guy from mythology:



This guy:



And I think this guy was just a little bashful:



And that's my guide to penis is Vegas thus far. I hope to go back and discover more places, because there really is a lot to see in Vegas, and I'm sure a lot more places to find penis. And I'm thinking maybe this guide might have to extend to the fake ones you can buy in stores as well. I'm not sure about that yet.

Hopefully, you make it to Vegas sometime, because it really is an awesome place to visit. Even if you aren't looking for penis.




Lynda is one of my very first blogger buddies and has had several different blogs over the years. Her most recent writing space, Crazy, Nerdy, Beautiful, is a fabulous read and describes her exploits in California where hot 21 year-olds are constantly trying to pick her up. Lynda lives with her puppy Nikki and plans on moving to Vegas soon to live near moi because we are sisters in spirit. And also so she can hunt for more penis.

Mind Over Matter

When VP asked me to write a post for her blog my first thought was "Cool! I am honored." And then as the days went by the stress kicked in. I started doubting my ability to write even a single coherent sentence much less entertain all of you. I knew I would never be able to reach the same caliber of content as VP but I was willing to give it a shot. So I started asking my family what I should write about. "It has to be fabulous!" I said.

My 13 year old daughter looked at me like I had two heads. (Although for her I guess that really isn't abnormal. Life with a teenage daughter has taught me many things. One of those is to grow a thick skin.)

My other kids all went, "What is a blog?"

And my husband suggested a tutorial on chewing gum and giving a blow job at the same time. (Am I allowed to say that on VP's blog? I guess we will find out when she reads this. If the previous sentence is missing I will assume the answer is no.)

I laughed at him and said I can't blog about something I don't have experience with. HA!

So I decided instead to tell you about my attempts at weight loss. Riveting topic, I know, but stick with me.

First a little background on me. I have 5 children. Which would mean 5 times in my life I gained over 40 pounds except we cheated and adopted one. So in reality I have gained 40 pounds only 4 times. I am so sneaky.

But apparently 4 times was enough to send my previously "normal" sized body into crisis mode. I started out at 5'4" weighing 125 pounds. After my first child I lost all the weight. It took nine months to lose but I didn't really do anything to help it along. After my second baby my body decided it would be good to hang onto an extra 20 pounds. You know... for good luck or something. I was up to 145.

And then after my 4th baby, the fat just wouldn't go away. I kept another 15 pounds.

Which has led to many attempts in recent years to get the flab back under some sort of control. I use the Wii fit, I go for walks with my husband, I have done Tae Bo, I recently completed Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred, and I have a treadmill.

I have a love/hate relationship with my treadmill. One on hand it is always there for me. On the other, I hate getting on and running to nowhere. I tried putting it in front of the t.v. so I have something to do while I run but even that didn't keep me entertained for a full 30 minutes. Plus there are commercials.

So I usually have to drag myself onto the treadmill. And when I do the conversation my body has with my head goes something like this:

My Body: "Get off this thing woman! What are you trying to do to me!? Someone call 911! Helllllp!"

My Brain: "Nope, I am not getting off. We are running for 30 minutes. Keep moving those legs!"

My Body: "Oh, yea? I can make you stop. Take this side cramp! That will make you quit moving."

My Brain: "I can run through that. No pain no gain."

My Body: "Well I can make your calves burn. That will make you get off this torturous device!"

My Brain: "Like you haven't done this to me before? Oh pulllleaz!"

My Body: "I don't know why you are so mean to me!"

My Brain:"Did you see those health insurance results? You have high triglycerides and borderline high cholesterol! We are running!"

My Body:"Okay fine, you just keep on running then."

My Brain: "Thank you, I will."

My Body: "But don't think I am giving up any of my fat!"

And so far my body is winning the war....


Jodi, author of Organized Chaos, is a mother to 5, wife to 1, and a woman who grew up traveling the world and ultimately settled down in South Dakota. She is an obsessive competitor and always wants to be at the top of whatever she is involved in. Jodi lives for her family and hopes to eventually be the best grandma ever. She loves with everything she has and expects the same in return. Her life might not be a fairy tale but it sure comes close. (Well... minus the giants, the golden egg laying goose, and the white rabbit.)

I Should Have Listened

"Oh they're great stories!" she said.

I was hesitant, after all, weren't they TEEN books?

"You'll love them" she insisted.

I don't know....

Then I saw Twilight and New Moon in paperback at Walmart.. Hmmm... 30% off. Okay, I could deal with that. If I didn't like them, I was only out $16. But then I was conflicted. They also had "The Twilight Saga Collection Hardcover Box set". But at $60, I calculated it too much of an investment quite yet.

So I brought the first two novels home, and dammit, dammit, dammit.

She was right. She was soooo right. I LOVED them and devoured both within days. Then I bought myself the DVD and watched it that same night.

However I now had a problem; being the OCD geek that I am, I wanted the matching style for the last two books. I made a special trip to the bookstore for the third book. Crap! I was a week too early and had to endure FOUR whole agonizing days of waiting until August 4th to get my copy of Eclipse in paperback. I must have picked up the hardcover editions six times and placed them back down again.... patience, Maureen, patience.

Then while hubby was out shopping, he came across the Walmart hardcover special too and got on his cellphone. "You know there's a nice box set of those books you're reading."

"Yes, I know, but I want to get the paperbacks."

"Are you sure? I'll buy them for you." Oh how sweet! I almost took him up on his offer. But then I'd have two extra books...

No. I had to be practical and passed on his generous offer. I waited until the 4th and finally got to continue the saga.


But how long could I wait until the fourth book was out?

Apparently not long.

Damn the OCD, I couldn't wait. I Broke Down and bought Breaking Dawn, the "Special Edition with DVD and Poster" in hardcover at Walmart for 30% off. Poetic, no?

And a few of those "Saga Collection Hardcover Box Sets" were still there. Mocking me with their 30% off stickers. For all my trials and tribulations, I saved myself less than $10 after all.

Crapity Crap Crap. Serves me right. Why didn't I just listen to Vegas Princess in the first place???

Maureen, of I'd Rather Be Blogging fame, is a woman of many faces and talents. The self-proclaimed "geek of computers, fan of science fiction, obsesser of Johnny Depp, lover of animals and keeper of the Zoo (consisting of three cats, one dog, five aquariums and a few plants that are surviving despite my best efforts to kill them off)" is a mother of one and a blogger extraordinaire. Her blog never fails to make me laugh out loud on numerous occasions. She resides in Canada, although not in an igloo, and has impeccable tastes in books (in my own opinion.)

All Growed Up

Ok listen, somewhere, at some time in the past year people started to think I was a grown up. I don’t know how it happened and it scares me a little because you and I both know that I am definitely not a grown up.

Somebody gave me a job. Me! A job! A full-time, 9 to 5, sick leaving, holiday paying proper job. I know, I’m just as shocked as you are! On Thursday and Friday of the past week I did not do one piece of work. I realised I’m absolutely awesome at pretending I’m working. I mean, I could win awards. I also came back late from my lunch hour, wandered around the office chatting to my friends and cleaned the staff kitchen. I’m gonna put that in caps lock so you realise the gravity of the situation, I CLEANED THE STAFF KITCHEN. This is how far I will go to avoid doing work. If you give me a job I will avoid it in order to pick OTHER PEOPLES TEABAGS OFF THE KITCHEN FLOOR AND PUT THEM IN THE BIN. This is the behaviour of a person who should be unemployed not someone who works in an office. Head office even!

Another thing that happened is that someone let me have my own flat*. I don’t have a roommate, by flat I don’t mean a bedroom at my mum’s house with a microwave and a fridge in it, I mean my very. Own. Flat. Remember how I cleaned the kitchen at work to get out of doing work? Well, at the moment, I can’t see the kitchen in my flat because it is buried under a pile of a week’s worth of dirty dishes. This is also the case with my coffee table.

I am embarrassed about this. I don’t want to tell you about the dishes. But it helps my point. I shouldn’t be allowed to have my own flat! And did I tell you about the bills? Electricity, water, phone, Internet, cable, TV license, council tax….How am I supposed to pay these when I lose the aforementioned job because “I’m sorry Miss C******n, the kitchen is immaculate but you’ve failed to do any real work FOR FOUR MONTHS”

Recently I forced, I mean asked my boyfriend to move in with me. He’s still a student (This is how young I am people – MY BOYFRIEND IS A STUDENT) so I told him he’d only have to pay £200 a month for rent, bills, everything. His response?

“Well I’m not gonna pay more than £200 if I don’t have my own room”

This is not the response of a grown up.

This is the reason why I need to keep him close. Because I know that next time I avoid housework in order to sit in front of the telly picking my nose, the next time I spend all of my monthly food money on one night out, the next time I scale a nine foot wall drunk, jump off the other side and LAND ON TOP OF A RANDOM GIRL** He won’t fire me. He won’t evict me. He won’t be disappointed with me. He’ll give me a high five then we’ll have a late night dance party WITH GLOWSTICKS!!!!!!!

*Apartment

**This totally happened.


Sarah is a 23 year old English person who resides in Liverpool, UK. She had a blog sometime in the seventies called Fuzzy Muffin With a Twist which has recently been replaced with the woefully neglected Gin In Teacups. She enjoys Gin, long walks and lying to strangers about what she does in her spare time.

Something Different

This blog needs some new spice. A little bit of a kick in the pants. I feel myself getting stale, as my last lame post indicates. So let's change things up.

I asked some of my most favorite blog people if they would mind writing a post for my little blog. I had seen this done on other blogs before and liked the result and thought, hey? Why not my blog? My blog would love to have guest bloggers! So I posed the question to my blogging friends. The response I got was heartwarming! I thought I would get one, maybe two people willing to take the time to write for me. I mean, I hardly have time to write on my own blog, let alone someone else's. But apparently I have much more generous friends. Overwhelmed, I realized this little experiment was going to be a bit more extensive than I anticipated.

Too good not to post them all, I have spread them out over the next ten days or so in order to give everyone their rightful exposure. These are the best of the best in my opinion. The people who keep me coming back every day to see what's new in their world. Now that I have bullied them into mine I can't wait for you all to see what they have come up with. These are some witty and ingenious folks. And tomorrow's entry? The entry I secured the very first day for because I was so floored by this person coming out of blogging "retirement" just for me? That's the entry I am the most thrilled to post. Because maybe, just maybe this means she might return to us after all this time.

Enjoy the madness as my blog is taken over by talent that far exceeds mine.

The Challenge

I may have made a serious mistake.

A mistake that is going to embarrass me and cost me money.

All because I can't get my butt in gear, even when I will have to pay for my laziness.

Blogger friend Evey contacted me and asked if I would be interested in joining a weight-loss challenge she is arranging with a few of her friends. Initially I balked. I have never been good at things like that. Competing against other people in something as difficult as losing weight didn't sit well with me. It seemed wrong to make a game out of something I should be doing naturally on my own.

But then I stopped and realized these were reasons why I SHOULD be doing a weight-loss challenge. Obviously I was getting nowhere doing it on my own. My motivation was gone, I had gained back all the weight I had lost since starting the Great Bike Experiment of '09 when I got sick a last month and I felt awful all the time. Why not do something that would make me exercise and eat right? Outside forces pressuring me to get my behind in gear and lose weight would be a good thing. And there would be consequences of not doing well in my quest. Behold the rules:

~Challenge lasts for 16 weeks: August 3rd - November 23rd

~The person with the highest percentage of weight loss each week will owe no money. Everyone else will owe 2 dollars toward the overall pot

~Each person will owe an additional dollar each week for every pound gained

~At the end of the challenge the person with the highest overall percentage will win the pot

~Weigh in each Monday morning and email me (Evey) your weight

This was going to be it! I was going to finally do what I have been wanting to do for years. Get healthy, lose weight and feel better about myself. Nothing will fail with the support of a structure outline pushing me along to do my duty in this challenge. I loved watching the Biggest Loser. I could imagine this as a kind of mini-Biggest Loser challenge of sorts. It was going to be fabulous and I was going to work really hard to win!

That was yesterday. Sitting in our office totally pumped and raring to go.

Then I got off the computer after emailing Evey my starting weight (GAH! 239...I am so disgusting) and immediately parked my butt on the couch for the next three hours and did nothing.

Today I still did not exercise. I did not search for my old Weight Watchers pamphlets so I could track what I eat. I did not drink any water. I did not eat responsibly and instead enjoyed some Doritos's and chocolate. I kept telling myself I still had five days to get on track and lose some weight. In reality I know I am going to end up paying every single week and completely lose faith in myself anymore. But I still can't make myself take action, even under threat of owing money for my sloth-like nature.

What the hell is wrong with me? Where did that motivated person from a few months ago disappear to?



VEGAS! Sights: Blood in the Water (SHARK Week!)
VEGAS! Sounds: "Hungry Like The Wolf" - Duran Duran
VEGAS! Soliloquies: Prom Nights From Hell by Various Authors